With holiday plays and parties to attend, cards to mail, gifts to buy, baking to do, guests to prepare for, and a slashed budget to boot, you may find yourself tied up in ribbons. This Forward Thinking Reminder offers guidance on how to focus on the essence of what you want—one of the most powerful ways of thinking to reduce stress and bring about peace and happiness during the holidays.
According to the American Psychological Association, one in three adults in the U.S. experienced extreme stress on a continuing basis. This was in 2007. I can only imagine what the numbers are today as we experience the stress of tough economic times and the holidays.
During stressful times, we may find ourselves consumed with thoughts of worry, self-criticism, frustration, and even anger. This is not surprising. Our brains are being bombarded with information that’s different than what we expect or believe we or others should or shouldn’t be doing. And when our brains register information that’s different from what is expected they act as if we are in physical danger. Of course, we are not in physical danger. Our brains, bless their hearts, do not know that and put us into a state of flight, fight, or freeze, anyway. Without self-awareness, that’s where we remain—in fight, flight, or freeze.
In my experience, most of us are in fight, flight, or freeze all day long and don’t even realize it. We worry, argue, and criticize. We are frustrated, overwhelmed, and depressed. These are all thoughts of fight, flight, or freeze. And how do we feel when we are thinking these kinds of thoughts? Our heads and neck are tight, our chests are pounding, our fists and jaws are clenched, our breathing is shallow, and our stomachs are knotted or queasy. These are the same symptoms of stress.
We all have the ability to notice we are in fight, flight, or freeze, add light to the situation, and choose thoughts that move us in a direction that serves our purpose. Does this mean it’s possible to never go into fight, flight, or freeze ever again? All I know is I am not there! I believe that as long as we are human beings with human brains, we are going to go into fight, flight, or freeze – especially in difficult times and especially during the holidays when our schedules are on overload!
The key is to be self-aware, to notice we are in fight, flight, or freeze as soon as it happens, add light, and choose thoughts that work for us rather than against us.
Here are some powerful thoughts to practice during the holiday season to rise to a new level of consciousness, restore your ability to discover what truly matters to you, receive ideas on what to do next, and experience peace and happiness.
1. Stop thinking, “I have to,” “I need to” or “I should” thoughts. As soon as you catch yourself thinking one of these judgmental – and exhausting – thoughts, restate your thoughts using the words, “I choose,” “I am committed to,” “It would be great if” or “I wonder how I can” and notice what happens. These powerful thoughts help us relax, discover what we really want and open us to the many ideas on how to achieve it.
2. List everything you think you want to accomplish during the holidays, and ask yourself, “What does this bring me?” for each item. Keep asking and answering the question “What does this bring me?” until you get to the essence of what you want. If the essence of what you want does not bring you peace or inspire you, then you can cross the item off your list or choose another way to think about it.
3. Take a deep breath focusing on the exhale (focusing on the inhale actually contributes to stress!) and think “I wonder what truly matters in this moment?” Reinvoking the state of wonder is a sure-fire way to reduce stress, spark creativity, and remain fully present and focused on what really brings peace and joy.
I invite you to practice any one of the above suggestions and see what happens.
May your thoughts bring you peace and inspire you.
MANAGING THOUGHT
Founder and President
